Personality Quadrants' Guide
This is a very simple guide that will reveal to you what type of person you are and how you can deal with romance with other people based on your personality quadrant.
As you might know, there are many variations of teachings regarding the personality quadrants out there all written by psychologists and experts in the field. This book is not a manual to self-enlightenment.
The two main points:
- Understand which personality quadrant you fall into
- Understand how to deal with your date or the person you want to date
Different people have different definitions about success and happiness. But the one BIG factor to that lies here: OTHER PEOPLE.
You see, consider the fact that other people are:
- Quite similar to others in the ways they are
- Like no one else - unique!
- More like some people more than the others
Most self-improvement books and research actually show that men and women typically fall into one of four unique groups. As a matter of fact, those people tend to react in a rather predictable way when faced with circumstances and situations.
Each of these styles, which I will go into in the later chapter, has its own strengths and weaknesses. Although it is important to realize that no style is superior or inferior to others, we must take note of the fact that the other 75% of the people we encounter reacts differently from us.
If your date happens to be from a different quadrant, you have to adapt your communication style to match him or her if you want to please your date.
You do not need to go into a personality overhaul if you do not like something about yourself. The key point to remember is people who find success and happiness, are those who are flexible enough to relate to others through modifying their own predominant interpersonal style to meet the needs of others who have a different predominant style.
In other words, 'my way or the highway' just doesn't work anymore.
Are you?
PEOPLE ORIENTED or TASK ORIENTED?
In other words, do you feel more comfortable dealing with task, schedules, objects, projects, and results? OR do you feel more comfortable dealing with people, groups and peers?
DOMINANT or EASY-GOING?
Do you find yourself always wanting to be in charge, in the lime-light and finding things to take over? OR are you the more laid-back, relaxing, don't mind, complying attitude?
NOTE: Don't Think too much! Just take the 1st answer that pops up in your mind!
IF YOU ARE:
INFORMAL + DOMINANT, YOU have a PROMOTING STYLE
FORMAL + DOMINANT, YOU have a CONTROLLING STYLE
INFORMAL + EASY-GOING, YOU have a SUPPORTING STYLE
FORMAL + EASY-GOING, YOU HAVE an ANALYSING STYLE
STILL CAN'T DECIDE which categories you are in, ASK the person who spends the most time with you and chances are, you belong in one of the 4 styles above.
Now that we have established your typical behavioral pattern, let's see how we can get you to deal with your date!
Prommoter
Promoters are people with strong social skills. They are very good at winning over people, crowds, even enemies. They enjoy being in the lime light.
A promoter will always be eager to please others especially if they give them attention for their outgoing, friendly ways. They also enjoy the recognition from other people and generally get involve with things they would excel to be the best in. Quick thrills and fast-paced action motivates them.
When they deal with people, they will generally try and sell themselves to others and even try to win their point of view if it differs. Often, in spite of their outgoing and winning personality, people may perceive them as show-offs, manipulative and like to use other people.
Most of the time, they tend to disregard the feelings of others. They do not know they have offended someone even though they thought it was a really funny joke (normally to gain the attention of others at the expense of the poor friend).
A promoter may also appear to others as overly attention seeking, liars and over exaggerate events or stories to get the attention of others.
They are people who respect strength and will often trample over weaker people.
If you are a promoter, you will be:
- A person who uses openness to build trust
- Likes applause, sincere feedback and being the center of attention
- A person who embraces excitement and risks
- Responds to personal challenges coming from other people
- Tends to save effort
- Likes to gain visibility and exposure in the eyes of others
- May appear over-committed but under-deliver
- Will be influenced by anything that appeals to them emotionally
Controller
Controllers are typically people whom others perceive as a very active, independent, self-confident and results oriented kind of person. He or she may appear to be bossy at times or even disregard other people's feelings when it comes to getting things done.
They are very forceful and strong willed and may tend to take charge of everything especially when they see a colleague, project partner or subordinate doing something wrong or slowly.
They usually appear rushed and will do anything to save time in the name of efficiency. They also have very high standards and will be seen as very competent in getting the job done but may push people too hard and sometimes even wondering why those people don't respond to orders or move too slowly.
Controllers also tend to lack patience when dealing with others. They don't like repeating instructions and solving the same problem over and over again.
A controller's need for personal success will also become counter productive as they limit their ability to work as a team with others because they will hoard all the task to themselves.
If you are a controller, your will be:
- Obsessed with efficiency and saving time
- Enjoys beating your opposition to the ground
- Measure the value of everything in results
- Gets along well with people who will comply with you
- Likes to find out what is the solution to getting things done
- Does things that gain immediate result
- Thrives best when given the freedom to make all the decisions
Supporter
Supporters are very good friends. They are very casual and likable people that would go all out to please others. They are the peace makers. They tend to minimize conflict with other people.
When it comes to making decisions, they let generally let others make the decisions and will rarely turn down the request. They may sometimes be perceived by others as having no back-bone because of their complying attitude and lack of initiative.
They are also people who do not respond well to challenges and are not usually highly-competitive people. This is because they do not want to hurt the feelings of others when winning or losing in a competitive environment and may even 'let others win' to preserve the friendship.
They are people who respond well to orders (especially from controllers). This makes them very easy to supervise but not when it comes to having them do things on their own without supervision. They also tend to lack interest in planning and goal-setting and may need to be more ordered when it comes to doing things.
Sometimes, it is no point asking them for honest or critical advice because they then to sugar coat the feedback in an effort not to hurt anyone.
Finally, when they face disagreement, they tend to let others have their way while building a wall of resentment in themselves until they finally explode (and then apologizing profusely afterwards)
If you are a supporter, you will be:
- Leaning towards projects that promise rewards and more friends
- Are more inclined to personal welfare than goals
- Will do anything to save a relationship
- Enjoys people that provide companionship and mutual cooperation
- Views attention from friends and loved-ones an utmost priority
- Lacking urgency in doing things
- Poor time management
- Builds trust through acceptance
Analyzer
An analyzer is a type of person who uses a methodical problem solving method approach to life. They tend to lean more towards good ideas, complex concepts and intriguing solutions rather than towards feelings. They also like study and analysis of the topics they are interested in.
When it comes to making decisions however, their knowledge does not help them; rather it hinders them from making timely decisions. The term - Too Much Analysis Leads to Paralysis tends to describe them best. They tend to procrastinate too much until they 'find the best solution'.
Normally when you put to similar analyzers together, they can entertain each other for hours dissecting, hair-splitting ideas and spend the whole day discussing theories and situations and all kinds of things relating to their topic of interest. On the other hand, when it comes to talking to others, they tend to bore others and they wonder why nobody will listen to their great ideas and analysis!
Analyzers are the most well organized people in the world and perhaps the only group who enjoy doing the dishes. Their charts, graphs, statistics, schedules, calendars and diaries are probably the most beautiful pieces of artwork they own.
Analyzers thrive in situations where they are in an advisory role and relate well to others through information. However, they don't respond well to pressure and will be rendered ineffective when it comes to high-pressure situations.
If you are an Analyzer, you will be:
- The king of knowledge and will thrive in situations where information is needed
- Measures progress by the number of activities
- Has an overly detailed time management style
- Builds trust with others through reliability
- Always asks the question HOW because it relates to technical things
- Will do anything that ensures safety and gains certainty
- Is influenced to decide through detailed plans and well charted arrangements
Once you identify your personality quadrant and the other party's personality quadrant, half the battle is already won.
